Can you tell me what you think of this piece of writing?

I think it's well written, a couple of thing you might want to look at. The dismemberment - if it's meant to be a comic piece of writing it's fine, but if more serious it kind of takes away the tension. If you want to build the tension more, make the section about the searching your room slightly longer and more involved. Your story's about the fear of not finding the chain, but the bit about snakes is a s long as the search itself, change that priority a little. I love the last sentence - the relief is well described, but you need to make the tension before great enough for the last sentence to relieve. Does that make sense?