Urgh. I hate my life. Help?

I have just been really depressed. I'm thinking of my life and all the things i've done wrong and i'm afraid of what going to happen in the future. I don't think i'm prepared at all. I'm afraid that I would be a disappointment. I have extremely low self asteem. No friends, im overweight I suck at school and i have to go to college if i don't i'm getting kicked out of my house. I want to go to college i just suck at school im going to summer school but i really want to push myself to go and I care about myself and i say that to myself. But for some reason i don't care... Its super confusing. I'm finally realizing my problems and i'm just upset. I need help. i want to have a successful, normal, life that i can be proud of when im older. I know life gets rough but its already been way to much stress that myself cant handle so far in my life. I had a horrible childhood. (Abuse from my father he cheated on my mom's best friend when she had cancer, etc etc etc etc) Im only a freshman in high school and i want to turn this all around. I need help and tips because the path im on is not healthy at all.